Since I've recorded some miserable times when I was crying for help, here in this blog. I decided today to record a time when the water is calm, and peaceful.
Do I believe in God? Yes I do. I believe in God, His love to the world, and His plan for their salvation. I thank Him for all those uncountable blessings He gives for me everyday, and I feel really happy when I do so. I ask for His help when in need, and in many situations I feel like it was Him who solved it, or at least made me feel better about it. I know people who truly believe in Him, and they are the best people I've ever known in my life. They are peaceful, wise, having a clear vision, and they always want to help others around them to see the light as they see it.
Why do I believe in God? I cannot lie about the answer, not for myself, not for anybody. For if God is the source and purpose of life, it's either done honestly or I've spent those years of my life lying, and intend to continue lying for the rest of it.
God is there for there can't be other better source of goodness in our life. God is there for there can't be other better One to thank. God is there for He has people who live His words and they are happy. God is there for I've felt His presence in some moments of my life.
Is it enough evedince? No. I hope it was, but it's not yet enough. I don't want to know more about God for He's so beautiful and I need to see more of the beauty. I need to know more, for what I've seen is not yet equivalent to what people say in the church or elsewhere. I need more evidence since the history seems to show more evidence than what we see today. He is not making Himself clear to me, or I am not working enough to do so. And I demand that He takes an action.
And because I'm still not sure who exactly is not doing his job properly, I still go to church, serve, speak about God's presence, and deliver the words I've had throughout my childhood. It's so far not much helping, but it's the right of the people to get the same info. And it's a part of my doubt..
I know that there will come times, may be tomorrow, may be next week, when I will be hopeless, for some reason. I will pray, and ask for His help. I really hope it's not the prefered way He likes...to show up in misery. Because then, whenever the misery is over, we'll still have the same doubts!!